Women can’t catch a break – we earn less than men for the same role, have less of a chance of being promoted to senior positions and are less likely to orgasm during sex.
The latter is often referred to as the ‘orgasm gap’.
This gap tends to affect heterosexual women the most – and there’s science to back it up.
Insights from the International Academy of Sex Research found that 95% of heterosexual men usually or always orgasm during sex, compared to only 65% of heterosexual women.
Duchess Iphie, a sex, intimacy and relationship counsellor says: ‘I was part of a discussion on Facebook last week and it generated a lot of comments regarding “the orgasm gap” occurring mostly in heterosexual relationships.’
Recent research shows that lockdown has made things worse for women, too, with 78% of British women climaxing less frequently since isolating with their spouse.
Many experts suggest that, in order to close the gap, we need to hold penetration and clitoral stimulation as equal.
Duchess Iphie adds: ‘This [the orgasm gap] is due to adults being made to believe that orgasm is achieved through penetration. While penetrative sex can lead to an orgasm for some women, most women will experience an orgasm through clitoral stimulation – AKA oral sex.
‘However, women receiving oral sex is mostly an afterthought and does not allow the woman to experience full arousal. The man’s pleasure is paramount unfortunately in heterosexual intercourse.
‘The lack of understanding about how women are aroused, stay aroused and reach an orgasm is the key contributor to the orgasm gap in a heterosexual relationship.’
Closing the orgasm gap can therefore be achieved with more communication between both parties – whether that’s a partner or a random hookup.
According to a study by Durex, one in five women claim that their partners are unaware of how to push the right buttons, making it more difficult for them to orgasm.
Couples therapist Louis Venter explains that this goes beyond the practical side of things.
He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘The “orgasm gap” is about more than simply the physical aspect of sex, which is why it is important for couples to work together to explore and understand their now combined sexual journey by learning to communicate with not only yourself, but each other.
‘Communicating with a partner requires not only being able to vocalise your feelings, but having a partner that will actively listen, without judgement.
‘When we work on the barriers to communication in the relationship generally, communication within sex will naturally improve – leading to more fulfilment.’
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