Orgasm guru shares how menopause can bring you a whole new chapter of pleasure
Menopause is… a lot.
There’s the hot flushes. Then the chills. Then more hot flushes. Your mood is all over the place and a good night’s sleep becomes sacred.
It’s no wonder that most women’s libidos hit rock bottom.
But while many of these annoying symptoms are mostly unavoidable, you don’t have to let them put a damper on your sex life.
In fact, this week’s episode of Smut Drop by Metro.co.uk is all about how intimacy doesn’t have to end just because your periods have.
Speaking to host Miranda Kane, sexuality expert Mangala Holland explains that it’s an absolute myth that your sex life stopa at 40-something and, if you play your cards right, 40-something could actually be the time when it really ramps up.
International orgasm guru Mangala says that in order to make getting older ‘the start of your pleasure, and not the end’, you have to embrace each change and use them to get to know your body again.
Mangala explains: ‘Perhaps you need more lubrication if vaginal dryness is an issue or if you’re feeling more tender and vulnerable.’
‘There’s an opportunity there to listen and go, “All right, what are you saying, body, how do you want to do this?”’
Mangala says the key to listening to your body is to let go of your thoughts – and she uses embodiment practices to help women to do this.
‘I guide people through really, really simple movement practices just to help get you out of your head and into your body,’ she explains.
‘If you could just dance for one song every day with your eyes closed, just one song, that will get you out of that funk. It will shift your mood; it will help you feel better about yourself.
‘The more we do that, the easier it becomes to access pleasure.’
‘You are not the person you were 20 years ago so what are your desires?, says Mangala.
Although menopause may be when most women see the biggest change in their sex life, and therefore want to seek help, Mangala tells Smut Drop that she supports women of all ages.
She says: ‘It’s never too late. I want to really let you know that.’
‘I’ve worked with 18-year-olds and my oldest client last year was 76!’ Mangala reveals. ‘She discovered G-spot orgasms for the first time in her life.’
But why might it take women so long to seek the help of a sexpert?
‘On TV it’s all the doom and gloom, it’s: “You’re going to have a broken vagina and your libido is going to fall through the floor” and it’s game over and forget having a happy sex life”,’ she says.
‘That seems to be a lot of what is portrayed out there. But I really believe this could be the start of your pleasure and not the end.’
Reaching mid-life is overwhelming and is certainly unlike any experience you have ever had but you can neither delay nor run away from it.
Instead, Mangala says to ask yourself: ‘Who are you now in this moment?’
‘You are not the person you were 20 years ago so what are your desires? What do you want? What brings you pleasure? What would you like?’
When you can answer those questions, you can start to transform your relationship with your body, and ultimately with sex, no matter your age.
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