My partner says he feels guilty because he still loves his dead wife

DEAR DEIDRE: MY fella has suddenly told me he is not over his late wife and feels guilty being with me.

I’m mortified.


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I’m a divorced woman, aged 50, and my partner is 52. We met six months ago through a mutual friend. I thought we were getting on so well.

We’ve been intimate a few times. I thought it was wonderful for both of us.

His wife died three years ago but suddenly he’s told me he feels guilty being with me and he isn’t over her.

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He’s walked away and I feel so upset.

Should I forget about him or try and talk him round?

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DEIDRE SAYS: He needed help to come to terms with his loss before he went looking for someone new.

He feels guilty about wanting company and physical love and may see it as a betrayal of his wife.

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Explain how you feel and suggest he talks to Cruse for help with his grief (cruse.org.uk, 0808 808 1677).

Keep things casual for the time being. If he gets the help he needs, you can consider a deeper relationship with him.

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