If I don’t give in to my husband’s bondage kink, I don’t get any sex at all – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: ALL I want is to feel loved. My husband only wants to be tied up or occasionally tie me up.

If I don’t agree then I don’t get any sex.


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I’ve been with my husband for 25 years since we were in our teens.

He didn’t tell me about his need for bondage until a couple of years after we got married but it’s got more and more extreme.

I want to be loved for me, not for how well I tie him up and then do nice things to him. That is just sex to me. Where’s my pleasure?

I tried refusing to tie him up but I gave up after six months of no sex life.

He’s a kind man apart from this but I often lie awake crying at night because I just want him to make love to me and make me feel special.

DEIDRE SAYS: The roots of a fetish like this usually stretch way back into early years and your husband may well find it almost impossible to get turned on without bondage.

But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t be unselfish and make the effort to give you sexual pleasure even if it does little for him.

After all, that’s what you’ve done for more than two decades.

My e-leaflet on Fetish Worries should help you talk this through together and work out a fairer compromise.

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