I was desperate to please my man so we had a threesome but it ruined our romance – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS so desperate to please my boyfriend I had a threesome with him and another woman.

I made out I was having a great time but I don’t know why I bothered.

I’m 26 and he’s 29. He’d been on at me for ages to try a threesome and I finally agreed to him asking back a girl he knew from the pub.

She’s 27 and up for anything like that.

I stayed home that evening, psyching myself up drinking a bottle of wine. They came back when the pub closed and they were already all over each other.

My boyfriend wanted to go straight upstairs, which I was ready for, so I’d made up the double bed in the spare room — I wasn’t going to have it happening in our bedroom.

My boyfriend said what he wanted us to do to him and each other. He really enjoyed it but I was acting a part.

And after all that my boyfriend told me a couple of weeks later that he “doesn’t like sex”. He can sit on swingers sites all day looking at other women but doesn’t want to come near me.

It used to be so different. We’ve been together five years and it was amazing for the first six months.

He was so romantic and loving. I’d come home to candles and roses all round the house. I loved it as I’m a hopeless romantic.

We had a healthy sex life back then too. I’ve got a high sex drive and he was as keen as I was.

We even spoke about trying for a baby but, like the rest of the relationship, it’s just dwindled away. It’s not just the lack of sex — once a month if I’m lucky — there’s no romance, no chemistry or even conversation.

He doesn’t hug me or hold my hand. He hardly even talks to me now. I ask “How was work today?” Shrug. “What was the weather like?” “Rubbish.” That’s all he’s said in the last three hours.

I tried to break up with him but he wouldn’t let me. I’ve no family and friends around me and I feel so trapped and lonely.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You can break up with him whether he wants to “let you” or not. Giving in to him just encourages him to carry on ignoring your feelings.

Tell him that either he makes a serious effort to rekindle the romance between you or you’re over. Give him three months to turn this around.

He sounds as if he could be depressed but don’t get dragged down with him. Insist he sees his doctor for treatment.

Look at how you can get back in contact with old friends or make new ones so you don’t feel so isolated.

My e-leaflet on Widening Your Social Scene can help.

You will feel so much stronger once you take charge of your own life again.

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