I can't get enough of older women – I think it's turning into a fetish

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T get enough of older women. I think it’s turning into a fetish.

I’m a single guy aged 25 and have fallen for a 53-year-old married woman I met in the pub while out with my team from work.


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While all my mates were chatting or trying their luck with the girls at the bar, I started talking to this woman.

She was blonde, in great shape and so interesting to talk to — unlike women my own age, who all seem obsessed with their appearance.

She asked if she could come back to my place and one thing led to another. We ended up having the most incredible night of passion.

We must have had sex five times before she said she had to leave.
Until that point, I didn’t realise she was married.

She told me she and her husband didn’t sleep together any more and I’d given her back what she’d been missing for so long.

We did get together again once more and it was amazing. But then she said it was too dangerous and we had to knock it on the head.

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She told me she couldn’t risk her husband finding out and I think she felt I was getting too fond of her. She was right.

Now she’s blocked my number. I know I should move on but I can’t stop thinking about her.

It had always been a fantasy of mine to sleep with an older woman, ever since I was a teenager. The reality was better than I’d imagined.

Since then, I’ve been messaging older women on dating sites. They are the only ones I find attractive.

Why am I like this?

DEIDRE SAYS: It is hard to say why you find older women such a turn-on.

Perhaps it has something to do with unresolved issues with your mother or another older woman who left an impression on you – such as a doctor or a teacher – at a formative time in your childhood.

If you think this is turning into a fetish, it might be a good idea to talk to someone about it and get to the root of it. Some counselling could help.

My support pack Fetish Worry? could also help.

While there is nothing wrong in having relationships with much more mature women, it could prove problematic if you want to have children of your own one day.

And you might not feel the same when you are in your late forties and having to care for a pensioner.

Try to be more open-minded. There are plenty of younger women out there who are mature in attitude and not superficial in their outlook.

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