DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD a wild fling to get what I’ve been missing at home.
The guy meant nothing to me but the sex was fantastic.
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My husband has a sexual problem. He stopped getting aroused years ago.
I am 43 and he is 52. After years of heartbreaking discussions, he saw his GP and got Viagra.
He used one tablet, said it gave him a headache and that was that.
I used to think I was the problem, so I lost weight to make myself super-sexy.
I wore short skirts at home and bought fancy underwear.
My husband used to touch my bottom as I walked past and get turned on but still he couldn’t perform.
I was so frustrated. I’d become addicted to wanting sex.
I met my lover when I was out with the girls one evening celebrating a birthday. We’d booked a taxi and were all well away.
This guy and his mate chatted us up in a bar. It was all lighthearted but he gave me his number.
After looking at it for a couple of weeks, I messaged him and we met up.
He is a year younger than me. We didn’t have sex that night but we did the following night and it was like turning on a tap.
I had been denied sex and loving for so long, I went crazy and wanted it all the time.
But after a few months my lover grew quite possessive, demanding I stay over at his place and asking questions about my home life, which I kept very private.
I broke up with him but I wonder now whether I did the right thing.
THE G spot, the supposed source of intense sexual pleasure for some women, is sometimes regarded as the ultimate and sometimes dismissed as irrelevant.
The truth is somewhere in between – as my e-leaflet Understanding The G Spot explains.
For a copy, email me at the address below or private-message me via my Facebook page.
I cried myself to sleep at night for weeks but have stayed with my husband because I do love him.
We have grown-up children who love us dearly and they would be devastated if we broke up.
After one row about our lack of a sex life I told my husband I was leaving him.
But he persuaded me to come back. He gave me the impression he was going to seek professional help but nothing has changed. That was a year ago.
To him, I am the perfect partner. We both like holidays, football, drinking at the pub — none of which we can do.
We are lucky to live in a lovely house in a great area. But I feel so frustrated.
DEIDRE SAYS: Partly sexual and partly emotional frustration, I should think, that your husband just isn’t making the effort you deserve trying to solve his sexual problem.
Many men feel such a failure if they suffer from erection failure, they go into denial rather than admit something needs sorting.
Try to avoid any suggestion he is a failure for not satisfying you.
Focus on how much you love him and say you are worried about his health – as erection problems can be a warning sign.
Initiate regular sex-play with no pressure to perform.
My e-leaflet Your Man Losing His Erection? explains self-help steps. He can still give you orgasms without needing an erection.
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