It’s V Day. The room is lit by candlelight, there are petals on the bedspread, melodic slow jams fill the air, you’ve had precisely 2.5 glasses of wine.
And you’re wearing your brand new, sexy underwear. The set you bought specifically for Valentine’s Day. Maybe it’s red. Maybe there are complicated suspenders. It’s definitely slightly uncomfortable.
And you feel like an idiot.
Buying some super sexy underwear for the most romantic day of the year always seems like a good idea – until you’re trying to awkwardly undress for the big reveal and you suddenly feel very silly indeed.
But, you know you look amazing in that underwear – that’s why you bought it. And you know your other half will be salivating from the moment you take off a single sock. So how do you get over the mental barriers of embarrassment and just enjoy yourself?
We asked We-Vibe’s relationship expert, Dr Becky Spelman for her tips on how to be confident in your sexiest underwear this Valentine’s Day:
Buy the right thing
If you’re buying some new lingerie to wear for your partner, remember you are giving a gift to both of you, says Dr Becky.
‘You will feel sexy and empowered in your sexuality by rocking an intimate look that showcases your body in all its glory, and your partner will have the great pleasure of unwrapping you.
‘Now there’s a win-win situation.’
When it comes to confidence in choosing, Becky says consider having a professional fitting.
‘That way, you can be sure you’re looking your best,’ she says. And when it comes to the bedroom – try to act confident, even if you don’t feel it immediately.
‘You’re a catch, so make sure you show this in your body language,’ says Becky. ‘Stand tall with your shoulders back and don’t let any nervousness display in your posture or the gestures you make.
‘Avoid closed gestures such as arms crossed in front of your chest and use expansive gestures instead.’
Be somebody else
If the thought of putting on a sexy performance feels like your idea of hell – what if you weren’t you, but somebody else? Roleplay can be a great way to get over the squeamishness of being overtly sexy as yourself.
‘Role-play can be tremendous, and very creative, fun in a relationship,’ says Dr Becky.
‘While human beings are naturally drawn to monogamy, the reality is that we are also naturally drawn to variety. How to square this circle? Roleplay is often the answer.
‘Get into character first by really imagining the role you want to play and maybe even buying a few props or costume items to go with your character.’
Introduce a sex toy
Not only could a new sex toy open up new layers of pleasure for both you and your partner, but it could also be a welcome distraction from you in your sexy underwear.
Take the focus of what you’re wearing and dazzle your partner’s senses a buzzy new device. You’ll probably find that as soon as the pleasure kicks in, you’ll feel much happier with how you look, too.
‘The old idea of sex toys as being for singles is nonsense,’ says Dr Becky. ‘Sex toys can bring a lot of fun, sexiness, and romance into a relationship – and there’s a whole new line of toys designed to delight both members of the couple at the same time.’
She suggests that practising on your own with the sex toy first could help you feel more confident when the day arrives.
‘Discuss sex toys with your partner as a way to introduce more fun,’ she says.
‘As with so many things, how you approach this matter is what makes all the difference.
‘Both of you should remember that a sex toy is not a replacement, but an enhancement. No one should be ashamed of wanting to spice up his or her sex life.’
Even if you don’t feel 100% confident in your sexy underwear, you might feel more confident turning up the heat with your words.
Introducing some dirty talk in the bedroom can be a great way to make your Valentine’s Day session stand out from your regular mid-week bang. And the more you voice what you want, the more empowered you will feel.
‘Start with some mild innuendo and work your way up to more explicit talk, depending on how your partner reacts,’ says Dr Becky. ‘Just because it’s dirty, doesn’t mean it can’t also be romantic.’
‘Say things that make you feel sexy and that turn you on, rather than trying to guess what your partner wants to hear. That way, you’ll have the benefit of conviction, and you’ll be able to tell from their reaction if they like what you’re saying.’
Set the tone with sexting
The awkwardness of revealing sexy underwear often comes when it feels out of the blue and random.
Sow the seeds of sexy time with your partner by sending them naughty messages throughout the day, so they know exactly what’s up. By the time they get home, they will be desperate to see you in your newest lacy number.
‘Up the ante by sending some sexy texts during the day,’ says Dr Becky, ‘hinting at, or even explicitly describing what you are going to do to one another later on. Enjoy the titillation when they start to answer in a similar vein.
‘If you’re nervous, start small and build up. Your partner might not be ready for a very explicit text when they’re having their morning coffee, so begin with a little flirtation and get saucier as you go on.’
Whatever your strategy, confidence is sexy as hell. The more you own it, the better you will look.
But don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself. If you’re really not feeling the lacy teddy when it’d crunch time, shove it in the back of your wardrobe for another time.
You’ll scream sex appeal no matter what you’re wearing.
Source: Read Full Article