Best Valentine’s Day jokes – from bad puns to cheesy one-liners

Millions of people will today be enjoying Valentine’s Day, celebrating love and romance with their favourite person.

Those celebrations and gestures can come in all shapes and sizes; from a box of chocolates or a card to a big grand gesture or maybe even a proposal.

Away from that though there are many other Valentine-related jokes that may help take your mind off all the romance going on.

Why didn't the skeleton want to send any Valentine's Day cards?

His heart wasn't in it

What is the difference between a calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's day

What did one muffin say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

You’re my stud-muffin

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day?


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What did the light bulb say to the switch?

You turn me on

What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?

What do you call a very small Valentine?

A Valen-tiny

What did the Valentine's Day card say to the stamp?

Stick with me and you'll go places

What did one boat say to the other?

Are you up for a little row-mance?

Why do skunks love Valentine's Day?

They're very scent-imental creatures

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?


What is the most romantic city in the UK?


What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day!

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