Love Island 2019: Jourdan and Danny get the boot, while (in light of recent rumoured events) Lucie and George are obviously next…

TOO. MUCH. STUFF. First of all, Anna turned 29 and officially “became a cougar” now that she’s hooked up with young Jordan. Anyway, during the birthday celebrations, Maura GOT A TEXT which asked everyone to “GaHDdeR AT DeH FiErPIH’ ImMEdIaTelY” for the usual shenanigans…

It wasn’t one couple due for dumping from the Island tonight, but two. The public, predictably, failed to vote Danny and Jourdan as their favourite couple, so they were ousted. Arabella and Yewande will no doubt be dressed as travel agents and carrying ‘WELCOME HOME’ placards at the airport.

Speaking of his time in the Villa, Danny said: “I have absolutely no regrets. I made mistakes for sure but I’m grateful for all the ups and downs because it led me to where I am today and I am a happy man. Anything I

wanted to say, I feel like I said it in the moment. I apologised for things that I did wrong.”

I, I, Captain….

Moving on; what was next for the other two couples – Lucie & George and Amy & Curtis – in the bottom three? Oh, just the standard “take yisserselves off to a quiet nook and pretend to be at pains over your decision before getting your partner to text who to get rid of.” This resulted in the additional departure of *drumroll*… we have to wait ’til tomorrow night. However, given Amy reportedly walked today, one could wager Lucie and George get gone.


Keen to become the next Chris and Kem, Curtis helped Tommy to bedazzle the terrace with what appeared to be some other contestants’ makeup (when, really, producers just told them to tip make up bags all over the floor (one of which was Mollys) and rummage through the debris before showering Ellie-Belly with petals.

Enlisting the help of his adopted offspring, Tommy asked Molly-Mae for a chat, saying “Ellie-Belly wants to tell you something. He told me to come and get his Mum.” When a befuddled Molly-Mae arrived, she was gifted a note being grasped by her stuffed elephant, which read “Dear Mummy. Daddy left me here in his best interests. He wanted me to tell you that you’re his everything. I’m going to leave it with Daddy. So…”

Indeed, there was little reason for Ellie-Belly’s involvement, as it was down to Tommy to elaborate “You know how much you mean to me and you’re the only girl for me. I only want to be with you. Therefore, I was wondering if you wanted to be my girlfriend?”

Going forward, vis-a-vis our arrangement, let’s guestimate where we’re at and circle back at a later date. By the way, “I love you.” You don’t want to say it back as you’re ‘waiting for a rainy day? Super, thanks’.”


Anna, of all people, broke out the girl code once she found out Maura’s intentions regarding Curtis, saying “Do you not think you should have told Amy? I’ll tell you straight. You [Lucie] should have told Molly before you told Tommy, and you [Maura] should have told Amy before you told Curtis. If I ended up liking one of your girl’s man, I would go to you first.”

So, when “Girl’s Girl of the Year, 2019, Miss Maura Higgins” (Amy’s words not mine) finally did get round to telling Amy about her feelings for her ex, Amy was quick to say “A lot of stuff makes sense to me now. You were one of the most vocal that he didn’t deserve a second chance… I hope you learn the basic jive.”

Oh, Maura will be learnin’ a lot more than that, mostly how to rock a powder blue PJ ensemble like someone on day release in Florida.


• Cheesy by name, cheesy by nature; Anton and Belle pounded both curds and whey during their first official date. Anton, keen to recreate that scene from Ghost, stood behind Belle in a bid to make some cheese. Twitter nodded enmasse when Belle declared “There is nothing sexy about this, at all.”

• Ovie cannot leave. Anyone who reacts like this to beef between Amy and Maura must stay. It’s basic TV law…

• To reiterate, OVIE CAN NOT LEAVE. EVER.


Jordan giving Lucie a hug was nice, though.


Like many omnipotent voices on Twitter are insisting “Amy left the Villa today, so obviously, Lucie and George get voted out.”


Love Island continues on Virgin Media Two and ITV2.

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