Romesh Ranganathan regularly thinks about taking his own life
‘I’ve got this inner voice that is horrific’: Comedian Romesh Ranganathan admits he regularly thinks about taking his own life
Comedian Romesh Ranganathan has admitted he has regularly thought about taking his own life due to a ‘horrific’ voice in his head.
The presenter, 44, appeared on The Diary of a CEO podcast and discussed the challenges he’s faced through out his life with host Steven Bartlett.
He also said his life experiences have provided him with endless material for his sell out shows.
During the intimate conversation, Romesh said: ‘I was thinking about taking my own life regularly, and I’d fantasise about it…
‘I think that all comedians are wired slightly differently They’ve had something happen to them that has made them an outsider in some way.’
‘I’ve got this inner voice that is horrific’: Comedian Romesh Ranganathan has admitted he has regularly thought about taking his own life due to a ‘horrific’ voice in his head
He went on to explain: ‘We lived in a nice house. We had a nice car. All the stereotypical things that you mark success with. Then a period of six months, six months, it was a complete 180…’
After bursting onto our screens, Romesh has been constantly working and is always afraid that his success could slip out from under him, stemming from his family struggles as a teenager when his father was sent to prison.
Speaking on his successful career as a comedian, he said: ‘I’m addicted to doing Stand-Up. And it makes me better at everything.
‘But… I’ve got this inner voice that is horrific. It will say, ‘you’re not a very good Dad, you’re not a very good husband.’
‘I had a run of about six panel shows, and I was in a really bad place, and I turned up to each one of them with the steadfast belief that I was sh*t at this’
When asked what happens when it goes wrong on stage, he added: ‘It’s horrible. That silence… That never gets easier, man, But you learn more from those gigs. I just need to do the best I possibly can at this gig, I’m not in control of anything that happens after that.’
‘Don’t think about this goal down the line that you’re trying to get to. Do this thing brilliantly, and if you love what you do and you do that, you’re on a good path.’
During the intimate conversation, Romesh said: ‘I was thinking about taking my own life regularly, and I’d fantasise about it…’
The comic was previously a maths teacher and head of sixth form at Hazelwick school in Crawley, where he had also been a pupil.
It was there he met his wife Leesa, a fellow teacher, who he has now has three children with.
It comes after Romesh revealed that he had a huge rift with his brother Dinesh over money problems following their father’s death.
Opening up: The presenter, 44, appeared on The Diary of a CEO podcast and discussed the challenges he’s faced through out his life with host Steven Bartlett
He told Griefcast that he fell out with his sibling Dinesh after he felt that he ‘wasn’t doing enough’ to support his family, when he quit teaching to pursue a career in stand-up comedy.
Romesh went onto reveal it took months for him and his brother to repair their fractured relationship, and they only made up when he spoke about the row in his autobiography in 2018.
Romesh explained that his rift with his brother began when their father Ranga died in 2011, revealing the family had huge financial problems.
Family: Romesh has revealed that he had a huge rift with his brother Dinesh over money problems following their father’s death (pictured with his mother Shanthia)
At the time Romesh had given up his teaching job to pursue comedy, but was struggling to provide for his family.
He said: ‘My dad passing away caused massive problems with me and my brother. We had this situation where we found out our financial situation was a house of cards, and we weren’t sure what was going to happen to the house.
‘At the same time I wasn’t making any money from comedy, and it was a really high-pressure situation. My brother felt like I wasn’t doing enough to help out.’
Detailing the moment that their relationship fell apart, Romesh continued: ‘I remember having a massive row with him in the foyer of a theatre.
‘I shouted, ”I’m never going to forget how you’ve treated me.” And the argument continues. That created a rift between us that took months to sort out.
‘Every now and again… it’s like a scar. If one of us perceives the other to be not doing the brotherly thing, we’ll fall back on that dynamic very easily.’
Back in 2018, Romesh revealed he and Dinesh eventually repaired their rift when he detailed their fall-out in his biography.
Speaking at the Cheltenham Literature Festival at the time, he said: ‘Just today my brother texted and said, ‘I’ve just been listening to the audiobook and I am really sorry. It’s given me a new appreciation of it from your side.’
Romesh’s family had already faced a turbulent time, as his father Ranga left their mother Shanthia when the comic was just 12.
Making amends: Romesh went onto reveal it took months for him and his brother to repair their relationship, and they only made up when he spoke about the row in his autobiography in 2018
Originally, the brothers attended Reigate Grammar School, but were forced to move to a local comprehensive when their father was jailed for fraud and their family home was repossessed.
Romesh and his mother were forced to live in a B&B for 18 months before finally being found a council house, and upon his release Ranga started running a pub in Grinstead, East Sussex, before suddenly dying of a heart attack.
Earlier this year Romesh detailed his relationship with his father in an interview with The Guardian .
He said: ‘I did hero-worship my dad. My mum was dealing with what my dad was being like and two kids who thought she was making a big deal about nothing. But it turns out she wasn’t making a big enough deal about it.’
Woes: Romesh’s family had already faced a turbulent time, as his father Ranga left their mother Shanthia when the comic was just 12
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