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New mum Paloma Faith has shared a raw and honest insight into the difficulties she's been facing with breastfeeding her newborn daughter.
The singer, who said lockdown helped her achieve dream of having another child, took to Instagram to unload her thoughts and feelings.
Alongside a black and white picture of her baby girl's feet, the 39 year old titled the post Postpartum diary Breast vs bottle.
She began: "I breastfed my first child for 7 months exclusively. Through mastitis and engorgement and tongue tie and reflux. This time I thought I don't want to mentally go to that place again, so I thought I would give bottles of pumped milk at night and boobs in the day.
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"That way if I got PPD or needed a night off I could let someone else do it. Then my baby (this one) was diagnosed with tongue tie and we had it snipped. Then it grew back and I snipped it again.
"Now it's gone but she still gets frustrated at my breasts. I started to see that she would suck and expect milk like she gets with the bottle."
Paloma continued: "After three sucks she would scream as if to say, "it's not coming out!". Then with her hunger she would cry and bang me."
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The mum-of-two went on to explain that she feels her daughter has chosen the bottle over boob and expressed her sadness.
"It very much feels like my baby has chosen bottle over boob herself. I cry a lot about it. I want the bond I felt with my first.
"I tried myofunctional therapy to get her tongue going and it's helping, but there is no quick fix. I am trying not to make it about me, but sometimes the self doubt creeps in," she candidly admitted.
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The performer says people have told her that as long as her baby is fed, that's all that matters but Paloma said she doesn't enjoy having to pump.
The songwriter, who previously opened up about mum guilt, concluded: "But I'm just going to take a few days to allow myself to get my head round it and mourn a bit.
"I know in the long run we will find our happiness but some days it gets a bit sad. Mums are amazing whether you breast feed, pump or formula, but every choice you make seems to have a sacrifice. Maybe that's the lesson of parenthood?!"
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