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So, I’m back. Indeed, I have a child. I’ve been out for a month, and I have the chewed nipples to prove it. Have fun, Mayor Pete. I guess that qualifies me to run the Department of Transportation. Speaking of trans people…any man who thinks that putting on a dress and a wig makes him a woman, no way. I was there when that baby popped up and no one else could have done that. You might as well put on a diaper and declare yourself a baby or president. But there’s nothing worse than someone in the media having a baby. Not just because you have to imagine them having sex, but they act like they’re the first to do it, like they just invented having children.
Guns now leading cause of death among U.S. children, CDC says
Very interesting. A few years ago, many new parents would have told you that having children was a selfish act. How dare you allow another mouth to feed billions of hungry people? Then they had kids, and suddenly their baby boy was the exception. They go from hating kids to kids who can’t wait to transition. What’s even more surprising to me is how pro-life some mothers are. It’s like being a biological Benedict Arnold. Because these moms know that giving birth is the best thing they’ve ever done. Except for ironing.
Sexists would say!
But instead of enduring the denigration of patriarchy from their fellow diaper deniers, they encourage women to give up the one thing that gives their lives meaning. Except watching this show of course. So what’s the male counterpart? Well, imagine a person winning a Bronze Star and saying it wasn’t worth it. Sorry, that was the only thing he remembered before he died. Well, there’s also a blast from the cast of “The Facts of Life.” Yes, Charlotte Ray really knows how to party. Yes, I compared motherhood to war, because it is.
The Science of Fatherhood: Why Dads Matter
The women endured a nine-month tour of duty that ended with so much hormones and exhaustion that it made post-traumatic stress disorder look like athlete’s foot. For this reason, we should treat moms like conquering heroes. But what about messages from most libraries? Don’t have kids. But if we do, it’s because our children will be better than your children. Because in the media, we act like everything we do is more important. But do you think my Uncle Frank is a plumber and every time his wife rolls out the plumber, he has to take a month off? please. Three minutes after cutting the umbilical cord, the guy had the plunger back in his hands. Come to think of it, I think he had the plunger with him during labor, just in case.
So, I won’t exaggerate. Seven billion people have experienced this. But if you are shocked that I am 60 years old and have a child, imagine how I feel. When my wife told me she was pregnant, my diaper was the first diaper she had to change. It’s not easy, but it’s not earth-shattering either. The lesson I learned was how much I had to unlearn. This means that, throughout my life, I have mastered the art of being selfish, which has served me well in my career. But a great career isn’t hard when you only care about yourself. Although there are exceptions. But if you work single-mindedly for ten years, you can master any career except porn, because after five years you’re already old.
Just ask Trace Gallagher. He may be a silver fox, but once the rug matches the curtains, you’re done. So becoming a parent at my age forced me to learn what many of you learned in your 20s, 30s and 40s – you have to think about other people. For me, it’s hard. My whole family has changed. There was another person asleep in the cradle now. But a wise man told me this – once you have a child, you can’t regret anything you did before, because changing the past eliminates the possibility of that child. This could be why Alec Baldwin keeps having kids.
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marvelous. Suddenly, I no longer regretted 60 years of bad behavior. This is my message to you, men and women. If you regret your past, have a baby. Yes. Yes. It’s easy. Almost anyone can do it. In fact, kids can actually take care of themselves. Now, my car is sitting outside on a double parked car. Don’t worry. I rolled down the window.
