Author: Robert Scruch Published
The term “direct-to-video” is often associated with low-budget projects that cannot secure a wide theatrical release. Generally, this is the correct logic to follow. However, there is a 1996 movie that defies all logic called Theodore Rex – A $33.5 million “buddy cop” sci-fi movie starring Whoopi Goldberg and the film’s eponymous anthropomorphic dinosaur, whom George Newbern portrays a little too enthusiastically (father of the bride).
While generally I’m a big fan of those “bad but good” games, Theodore Rex is one of those movies that confuses me until my dying day. What’s more, I feel like New Line Cinema is aware of this fact, which is why you can’t find the film on any streaming platforms at the time of writing.
Futuristic dinosaur detective?
Theodore Rex The Star Wars style commentary reel at the beginning of the movie tells you everything you need to know without wasting time insulting your intelligence:
A clumsy but lovable dinosaur named Theodore Rex wants to be a detective, and a new kid named Katie Coltrane (Whoopi Goldberg) And the futuristic cop, disgraced and rude, is tasked with solving a murder involving the dinosaur against her will. This triggers a grand conspiracy about evil billionaire Eliza Kane (Armin Mueller-Stahl), who wants to use fish DNA to start a new ice age, and why…
Confusing character design
The most frustrating part is Theodore Rex That’s its character design. I’ll be the first to admit, no matter what type of movie this is, the walking and talking dinosaur puppets would look great for a light-hearted mid-90s flick, but their personalities make absolutely no sense and seem to be for the sole purpose of The goal is to make the audience laugh on screen while saying “Haha, that’s so random!”
For example, Theodore Rex has an automatic cookie launcher in his beautifully decorated penthouse that he uses when he wants a snack. Let’s unpack that first, because our dinosaur detective hero is low on the totem pole in his PR career, and only eager Become a police officer in the first act.
How can Theodore Rex afford this lifestyle, and why does he like cookies so much?
What was he doing on the sidelines, preparing a seemingly endless supply of white chocolate macadamia nut cookies in an apartment so large that even Frasier Crane would be jealous of his living situation? Are cookie shooters custom made? At least we know his giant rear-end accommodation van was purchased with taxpayer money, but I have no compelling reason to believe Theodore Rex had “cookie shooter money” by any stretch of the imagination.
Also, Theodore, and other dinosaurs who integrated into society after being domesticated. created by the wicked, All decide they no longer want to be carnivores, for reasons that are never fully explained. If I had to hazard a guess, the sole purpose of this trait is to make the dinosaurs in this universe even weirder.
Whoopi Goldberg doesn’t want to be there
In a 2015 interview with Folha de São Paulo, Whoopi Goldberg bluntly stated that she did not want to star in the film Theodore Rex. In fact, producer Richard Gilbert Abramson filed a $20 million lawsuit against Goldberg when he allegedly verbally agreed to star in Katy in 1992 Katie Coltrane and attempted to withdraw from the film’s production. It’s obvious.
There’s not a single punchline in it Theodore Rex Goldberg didn’t show a worried look on his face, as if to say, “I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud.” It wasn’t revealed until the third act that Katie Coltrane was a cyborg, which Adds nothing to the plot except to explain why she walks around so aloof most of the time – like a drugged cat following a laser pointer. Part of me wonders if this reveal was simply added to the script to explain the soullessness of Goldberg’s actions and lines.
Whoopi Goldberg was paid $7 million Theodore Rex.
It’s okay if you want to pass this on.
Theodore Rex It’s not available anywhere on streaming, which is probably good for humanity. Humanity is overstimulated by endless technological innovation, multiple wars, economic distress, famine, corruption, advertising, get-rich-quick schemes, and political divisions that are likely to get worse before things get better. Oops. For most people, sit back and watch Theodore Rex Being a means of escaping the horrors of modern life may be what pushes them to the edge.
When I lament the 92 minutes I invested Theodore Rexnot all hope is lost. I’ve seen this movie so you don’t have to. But if you’re a punishment-seeker, you can probably find every copy of this movie at the bottom of a decades-old tar pit, where they belong.
