Nikki Glaser tells Stern the joke she cut from the set of the 2025 Golden Globes

many people expected Nikki Glaser was in full roast mode at the 2025 Golden Globes, but the comedian was well received by critics and audiences for his slightly tame opening monologue.

Fans of Glaser’s more campy jokes shouldn’t fear, however. Glaser wasn’t too rude in his room at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles on Sunday, January 5, but he didn’t hold back when it came to telling some off-kilter jokes on SiriusXM. the howard stern show Monday, January 6th.

“The Golden Globes are the only show where you can see the biggest stars from film and television come together for the same goal – get out of here before tonight Dax Shepard Asking them to do his podcast,” Glaser began with a list of jokes she calls her “Stern Files,” which she created in the writers’ room. “This is the last time you’ll be in the same room together before the Diddy trial.”

Stern then stopped Glaser because he couldn’t believe she wasn’t joking didi.

“We brought up Diddy again, which worked better and opened us up to more other jokes,” she replied, referring to the inclusion of her jokes in the broadcast; “Shandaya Here it is. Zendaya, you’re doing incredible. dune [2]. Oh my gosh, I woke up to all your scenes. You are so kind. and challengergirl? It’s so good. I mean, that movie was more sexual than Diddy’s Credit Card. “Oh, I’m pissed too. The after-party isn’t going to be great this year. But, we have to move on. One Stanley Tucci Freaks just don’t have the same rings. No baby oil this year, just lots of olive oil.

Speaking with Stern, Glaser explained why she chose the version of the joke she told on CBS: “But that [cut] One of them is funny and the ‘I’ll tell Stern anyway’ thing is great. And you don’t want to do that because it’s like you’re accusing the people in that room of being involved and they might attack you.

Keep scrolling to see more of the crazy jokes Glaser chose not to perform at the Golden Globes:

Luigi Mangione’s moment

“Glen Powell Tonight was nominated for killer. Who would have thought that by the end of the year, you’d only be the second most popular killer in America,” Glaser said before revealing, “and we didn’t do that because Luigi was important for a while. It took a while to sink in.”

Come for the Catholic Church
“I love secret meetingI think it’s about the cardinals choosing a new pope. I think everyone should see it. It’s so heartwarming. It honestly moved you so much that the church had to move it to another theater. Conclave is rated PG, bring the kids. They’ll love it. The Catholic Church loves it. Important note, you don’t need an ID to attend the conclave after-party,” Glaser said, noting that she felt the “Catholic Church pedophile joke” was outdated.

A twist on Adrien Brody jokes

“Oh, look, this is a survivor of two massacres, Adrien Brody,” Glaser said on the show, but the original quip was more detailed. “If Adrien Brody could go back in time, he would thank Hitler Jr. for his contribution to his career.” When Stern asked him if it broke her heart that he couldn’t deliver that quip, Glaser explained that her assistant couldn’t understand.

“My assistant is Gen Z, and she said, ‘I don’t get it.'” We were like, ‘Well, if you had a time machine, you could go back and kill Hitler and stop the Holocaust.’ So it’s like, oh, we’re going to lose a whole group of people who don’t know. Then I said Hitler for no reason,” she said.

The Jab of “Only Murder”

“Only murders in the building marvelous. I think this is so cool and everyone in legend loves it Steve Martin, Martin Short, Meryl Streep, We’re still working hard and giving them some of the best performances of our careers, which is very inspiring,” Glaser said. “This just goes to show you that you’re never too old to still need money. Guys, please don’t fight Jake Paulplease don’t do this. Why are you still working so hard? Are you involved in the Hawk Tuah girl’s encryption scheme?

a self-deprecating joke
“amy adams nominated for his performance night bitch“And I was completely ignored for my performance in Daytime Slut.” Glaser is known for laughing at himself on set. “But by the way, the documentary category is tough; night bitch This is the sound Didi hears every night before turning off the lights.

Nicole Kidman’s jokes

“this wild robot Nominated tonight. I mean Nicole Kidman After two glasses of white wine,” Glaser said, noting that she wished she could have told the joke but wasn’t sure of Kidman’s reaction. “If she makes a face, then… [but] I think she’ll be cool with it.

Back to this
Affleck seemed sober. “[I almost said]like, ‘Do I bake or do I bake bread? Did you know? I’m not roasting I’m going to toast. I just made all these toasts. Like, ‘To Ben Affleck, I can’t wait to see which Jennifer you’re going to destroy next,'” Glaser said. “I argued, ‘Oh, I didn’t say destroy them. I said he was trying to destroy them, so it wasn’t personal. But I was like, ‘That’s crazy.

Cocaine quips
“Denzel Washington Here it is. The only thing that has convinced more middle-aged men than Denzel Washington that they can take off their earrings is cocaine. Kate Winslet Much like cocaine. She is white. she is always with leonard dicaprioI can’t wait to catch her at the party tonight,” Glaser said.

One of Bob Dylan’s more savage jokes

Glaser shared a different version of Timothy Chalamet/Bob Dylan The jokes she tells on the show. “Timothée Chalamet took years of vocal lessons to sound like Bob Dylan, because apparently, that’s how long it takes to learn to smoke 40,000 cigarettes. Timothée takes guitar lessons , dialect moves and vocals, and Bob Dylan being Bob Dylan the old-fashioned way — heroin and autism, Tern laughs. “Not diagnosed yet, but come on, a lot. Songs about trains. “

“Evil” x “Queer”
“Daniel Craig nominated for his performance Queerit’s a movie and not just what my uncle Chucky said evil,” she joked.

she forgave nick
“Nicolas Cage Looks like a good rest here tonight after a night’s sleep in Ives’ coffin. “Nicolas Cage was here, and so was the Skeleton Band, who played ragtime with him.”

“Rusty” BBQ

“Please know, I know this is not good,” Glaser said before launching into a joke.Michael Keaton marvelous beetle juice, beetle juice and Alec BaldwinSadly, he didn’t come back to play the ghosts because he was too busy making them. She added that the joke was “so mean” and that she didn’t want to “hurt” Baldwin again.

Get involved in politics
“Movie Anora Nominated for four awards tonight. It’s been called the strongest take on sex work since Matt Gatespayment history,” Glaser joked.

final blow
“squid game is a show where people starve while brutally competing for the ultimate prize. Oh, wait, no, sorry, that’s the show,” she said. “I saw Joker 2 And, you know, it reminds me of the first time clown I was in the cinema when it came out and I was worried someone would film it. then during Joker 2, I really hope they do.